Friday, March 09, 2007

I've swam through the river of..........

I fell like Andy D from Shawshank Redemtion.

Since the news has been out that I'm going over the wall at work....I've been getting some pretty strange reactions. But there have been a lot who wish they could top the wall too.

There's been a lot of talk of "how many years you go left?". It's scary....the feelings of helplessness and dispair going on. This place has beaten down more than just me.

Only five days left. But who's counting?

Swam through that river.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Time to go be somebody else somewhere else.....

Time to go be somebody else, somewhere else............

That's what time it is for me friends.

January brought the new house. March brings the new job.

After 19 years of abject misery I'm leaving my job at the "looney bin" for a new opportunity.

I can start off with a clean slate with people who I don't know. So it's time...to be someone else, somewhere else.

New slate, new look, new commute, new clean office building, new beefier paycheck, new goals, new rules, new opportunities.

I might even get rewarded for initiative and foresite! Ooooo what a concept. To get paid for ambition and progress instead of having someone toss an anchor at me each time I move forward.

OOOOOooooo. Scary all around.

I'm learning how to be excited about good things, how to have good anticipation, how to see myself with bright and shiny eyes that think I'm pretty cool and very experienced at my job.

Only 8.5 more days left here at the old place. Here they are looking at me funny, like they thought they had me cornered...like they thought they knew who I was and what I would do. They are wrong and they don't like it.

Tonight I'll start taking my stuff home. Starting with my chair. I had to buy my own chair! Geeze......

Perhaps while I'm taking my chair and my books home....I'll find some of my dignity and self-respect and take that back too.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Happiness is a Tardis with a working dematerialization circuit.......

....at least that's what Dr. Who says. But we've seen his videos and it's pretty clear why he may need to make the occasional quick get away.

Called you at lunch time Cuz. Just needed to hear a friendly voice.

I'm having an attack of the "needies".

I'm so nerved up. I want this so much.

Geeze you'd think I was getting married or something. Well, if I was slated to get married, I'd be in the car, alone, going in the opposite direction. I'd be able to control that.

This is that cosmic wheel spin of fate. If the wind and weather and the stars all line up kind of thing.

God's got a hold of me and he's keeping me safe and sound. But I do have to wait to find out.....and as we get older that is a tougher and tougher thing to do.

Like a freakin' blind date and a quizz show all together.

I'll take "Freaked Out Over Nothing" for 1000$ Alex Trebek.

I know what I'm doing. I know how to do the job. I just have to look perky, professional, and confident.

Sigh.

Haven't done that in a while.

Lights, camera, action. I'm ready for my closeup Mr. Depp.

Ain't talkin' bout love......

Ain't talking bout love....my love is rotten to the core.

So says the Van Halen song.

Jump, go ahead and jump. Might as well Jump.

So says another Van Halen song.

Both of them have been pounding in my head over the weekend.

I even heard "Jump" playing on the Muzak in the grocery store. I think it may be time for me to jump. Someplace, somewhere, somehow.

Looks like it's time to re-evaluate my "love" relationships too. Maybe stretch it out to the close little closet of friends and acquaintances I've been circling with in the work environs as well.

This week marks my 19th year with the same firm. I never meant to stay this long. I have to remind myself that my mother didn't sell me. But I sure feel like a low level slave on the digital plantation. Beat down, beat up, burned to the ground and it doesn't look like anybody's going to ride over the ridge and rescue me.

Nothing left to do but steal a horse and make tracks in the middle of the night. It's time to re-invent, rediscover, excavate, wake up, become somebody else somewhere else.

Wish me luck kiddies.

I've got the classic signs of divine discontent. Yesterday I even took one of my crafty classes to try and break the tension. It left me disappointed. Like a mouthful of cold pasta. The project looked better in the sample and the class was bedlam. It was ok, but not really fabu. I've got the techniques down, it's time to move on and do things on my own. Never thought I'd get to that level but here I am...time to saddle up and move into my own.

The project had a little bound book to create. It had all sorts of perky little sayings about creativity and the "inner child". Being free to create and dream and all that jazz.

Well honey, yesterday I had a talk with my inner child. She rides a motorcycle, wears leathers, smokes cigars, and drinks a bit. She has no time for anybody she doesn't think is interesting and she doesn't give a fuzzy rat's ass about what anybody thinks.

Sounds like she's growing up into quite an independent young lady. Sounds even more like she's sending me a message to pull up my bootstraps and roll on.

So I think I might as well jump. Right on outta here.

Friday, February 23, 2007

What I couldn't say.....

Hey Cuz.

I called because I wanted to scream out the exciting news.

Next Tuesday I've finally got an interview with Lockheed Martin....over at Liberty & 695.

I've been waiting for this job to open up since before Christmas.

Wish me luck and a case of toaster salt just for good measure.

It would mean I could actually make enough to pay for the house I just bought!

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'll try and find another hillarious clip to add to the blog later.

If you re-watch the posted one...see if you notice when he opens the fridge and pulls out a bowl of something. That made me laugh the most.

Hugs & Kisses..... Your Ocean City Girl

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