Friday, January 04, 2008
Blang Blang A Lang
|Happy New Year kiddies!|
The year is already four days old. We have survived the Christmas madhouse and the New Years hub-bub.
Now we are on to bills and tax returns.
December is always bankrupt month for me. The insurances come due, the property tax comes due, the fee for my medical service comes due. This year I'm finishing up moving expenses. (Yes I know it's been almost a year.) Paying off updates to the house, new doors, new heat for the great room, hallway wall taken down, ceiling fans, lights, bathroom fixes. Let's not forget the organizer. I've got a house that's been crammed with my stuff, mom's stuff, grandmom's stuff, great grandmom's stuff. It's just been an amazing amount of stuff. The rented storage lockers are emtpy. The other houses have been cleaned out. Now it's down to whatever is left in my little 3 bedroom rancher. It's hard to believe how much has gone out to the curb, how much has been donated, how much has been sold. There's still mountains left.
That's the hard part about this season, having faith that I will get to the bottom of the stacks. I've been packing, moving, sorting, and tossing in some way shape or form since August of 2006. It feels like I'm in some kind of mythological punishment. Each weekend I spend a day tossing out and when I come home on Monday night, the house is full again. The sum total is that I feel sucked dry and exhausted and trapped. Weighed down would describe it. I get the urge to pick up my purse and keys and run away and never come back.
Is there going to come a day when I'll have everything tucked away and neat? Will there come a Friday when I can go home to a tidy, decorated, and refurbished home? What a dream!!! A home with all the painting done, the shelves tidy, and me able to come home and relax? Maybe I can even go back to crafts, going to museums, having a life outside of managing "stuff".
Ah, that's a new year's dream!