Tales From The Tuxedo Inn

Life, Art, Auto -Not Tuxedo Rental

It’s Guilt Edged, Glamorous, and Sleek by Design

Written By: Justine - May• 07•15

“You know it’s jealous by nature,
False and unkind.
It’s hard and restrained
And it’s totally cruel.”

What is is that?

“Love”, according to the Eurythmics tune  “Love Is A Stranger (In An Open Car) “

XM radio channel 8 played that song during my commute tonight.  I’d forgotten how much I liked it.  Even back in 1983, I had a slightly warped take on Love and its many splendors.

Like everyone, I had a few rattling experiences in high school and college.  My cynical edge had been finely honed.

Now that I’m older and have had to make the horrible decisions you make for terminally ill parents, I am convinced Annie and Dave had something.


“It’s savage and it’s cruel
And it shines like destruction
Comes in like the flood
And it seems like religion
It’s noble and it’s brutal
It distorts and deranges
And it wrenches you up
And you’re left like a zombie”

Perhaps I’m jaded.  Or perhaps I’ve seen the bad so my turn can come to see the good

I can only live in hope.


Click here for  the Eurthymics video on YouTube

I still miss James May
Love in a Morris Marina


Oh James!

Written By: Justine - May• 06•15
Oh Barney!

James Bond is returning in “Spectre”.  The movie posters are out in force.  If  the NR Cinema wants me to pony up ten bucks to watch the next Bond flick, they need to take those posters down.

When I met friends for a Sunday afternoon movie last week the front of the theater was chocked full of  adverts for coming attractions.  But the poster that stopped us dead was Danial Craig duded up for Bond number twenty-four.  The bespoke tuxedo had been replaced by an Archer  style tactile-neck and a pair of black chinos.  The expression on the face  is supposed to be menacing but the square chin, poked out upper lip, and protruding triangular ears made me say, “Barney Rubble”.

“They’ve got Barney Rubble dressed as Archer playing James Bond.  The apocalypse is imminent.”  I sighed and longed for the Pierce Brosnan days.

“I didn’t think they could take a bad picture of Daniel Craig but they sure have.” someone else said.

James Bond movies, for better or worse, have always been favorites of mine.  I watched them with my father when I was as kid.  My mother would have been mortified if she’d know that was the kind of movies he took me to.   Sean Connery was still holding forth then.

Over the years I’ve learned to laugh at, ignore, or see through the sexism.  I’ve also noted the rapidly shrinking women in the opening credits.  The story lines have morphed from dire, to campy, and back to serious.

When the “Casino Royale” reboot came along I loved it. I fell madly in love with the Aston Martin.  (Always a good sign.)

But ‘Spectre’ is looming large and it’s looking like Bond has gone Bedrock and Hipster both.  A fictional fixture is roaring into the future and I’m not sure if I can go with it.  Maybe it will just take a bit of getting used to, this Barney Rubble in a tactile neck.  Or maybe I’ve stopped being able to adapt to new styles and standards of suave sophistication.  But I don’t think so.

Perhaps tt’s just been a rough spring that’s all.  First I’ve lost the James May inhabited “Top Gear”.  Now I’ve watched James Bond go hipster.

Oh James the time’s they are a changing.  I can only hope for the better.

goodbye james

Post “Top Gear” James May

The Lights Are Still On

Written By: Justine - May• 05•15

The lights are still on here at the Inn but I’m being pokey getting the next post up.   We will resume posting regularly shortly.  Right now we are busy sending our orthopedist’s children to private school.  PT does NOT RULE!

In the meantime here’s some suit porn from the movie “Kingsmen”




The Tuxedo Inn in no way endorses hipster black rim glasses.

Ferocious Friday Night

Written By: Justine - Mar• 07•15

It’s that burnt cigarette end of the week, Friday.  The cold and snow grind on, winter looms large and sinister.

For all my good intentions I’m ready for an early night.  Tomorrow I begin pool therapy for my mangled knee.  Tonight I just hurt and I’m tired.

So how about a great quote  in lieu of a bedtime story?



Apologies, I can’t find my note on where I discovered this.


Pressure Drop

Written By: Justine - Mar• 06•15


The “Weather Channel” has started naming winter storms.  I don’t want that kind of acquaintance with weather systems.

It snowed 8 inches today after raining all night.  The street, the drive, the walk, and the yard are turning into a chunk of ice in the overnight temp of 8 degrees.

I’m inside with Toots and the Maytals, Robert Palmer, UB40, and Big Mama Thornton.  My damaged knee won’t hold me up to dance anymore, but I’m doing my best.

When the barometric pressure drops the knee hurts.  The only response is a little music and a sure faith in the springtime.

On a totally unrelated note:

Take a look at the web site for Huntsman Tailors on Saville Row London.  They  inspired the “Kingsman” shop. 

Craft Be Cherished, Rules Be Damned

Written By: Justine - Mar• 04•15


Not exactly what you expect to be printed on a beer bottle cap is it?

Last night’s Du Claw ” Bare Ass Blonde” brew  delivered its tiny homily like a kick the head.

I’ve been living clamped so tightly on the edge of pain, following orders, prescriptions, rules, that I haven’t had time for craft.  Writing craft, ink craft, silver work, or the simple craft of living life.

That bottle cap  now has a magnet on the back of it.  When the glue is dry it’s going on the fridge door.

At my worktable I took another moment and reloaded my favorite fountain pen.  Why write with a scabby ball point when a whole rack of luxurious pens and beautiful inks are sitting on the desk in the next room?

Nothing Beats A Bare Ass Blonde

Written By: Justine - Mar• 03•15

Du Claw Brewing’s Blonde Babe

After a long dry spell, I’m finally able to enjoy beer again.  Instead of small smile of a return to normalcy tonight’s hopeful trip to the newly renovated package goods store in the strip mall left me a bit befuddled.


Instead of finding a cold 6 pack of Killian’s Red I was confronted with row upon row of bizarrely named beers, ales, and ciders.  Then there were to ‘soda pop mixed drinks in a can’.  What ever happened to Jack and Coke?   Who want’s to drink something named “Sweet Baby Jesus?”  When I was in college it was “Screaming purple Jesus” and it was made in a new 30 gallon trash can with grape cool aid and grain alcohol.  Now it is a chocolate peanut butter stout.  What the hell?

There were brews by every pun based piratical name.  There were brews named after tires.There were brews named for dogs and their every .  There were brews named about  I don’t want to spend my evening with a good book and anything called “Old Leg Humper”!  Not unless he looks like Johnny Depp and takes turns reading to me in between humps.


Luckily for me the store stocked bottled offerings from the Baltimore based Du Claw Brewing Company.  Even though they are the purveyors of “Sweet Baby Jesus” they also still make “Bare Ass Blonde”, a nice pale ale with a little tingle to it.  My favorite Du Claw beer is “Misfit Red” but they’ve kept that on tap only.  It’s also too early in the season for “Mysterium” Belgian spiced ale.


When the weather breaks I am going to have to crawl out of my snowbank and make a trip to the local “Du Claw” brew pub  for a growler of something good.