Tales From The Tuxedo Inn

Life, Art, Auto -Not Tuxedo Rental

November 12, 2013

Written By: Justine - Nov• 13•13

Lilibet’s house was  a 1960’s rancher in a nice 1960’s development with moderate sized yards and tidy wood fences smack in the respectable Severna Park zip code.  In a recent 3 year bout property values had gone up by twenty five percent, one hundered percent , and twenty five  percent in sucession.

When my time to buy my own home had come, there was no place in Severna Park I could afford. I was up the road in Glen Burnie, in a section wedged between the airport and the hospital.  It too had been developed in the 1960s but with an eye to more modestly sized yards and much smaller bedrooms.   Aunt Lilibet’s bedroom walk in closet was the size of my smallest bedroom.

I jumped into the housing market when the price of a one bedroom apartment equaled the mortgage on a small house.  I’d had enough of shared walls and third floor walkups. I wanted to live someplace where bringning in the groceries didn’t involve careeing around on tiny outdoor stairs  with as much weight as I could carry in tissue thin plastic sacks.

We were on the old riverside road on the way back to Lilibet’s slice of suburban heaven when she held up like an old time revival preacher.

“There at the top of the hill!”  She pointed. “Turn into that driveway.  The one with the gate.”

“You mean the one where they’ll have somebody shoot at us if we trespass?  See the sign!”  I admist I squeaked a little but I turned into the driveway anyway.

I’d driven by it enough times wondering what kind of mansion or crumbling boathouse was behind it.  I pulled up to the speaker and card scan box at the side of the drive.

“Nobody is going to shoot at us. You and your mother always have to be so dramatic.”  She snorted.  She rumaged in her coat pocket. “Here you go.  Try this on the gatebox.”

She handed me a cobalt blue plastic card  embossed with a silver camel.

“Seriously? What are we doing, going to visit Joe Camel ?”

“Be quiet and the scan the card.” Lilibet gave me a raised eyebrow and a frown.

I scanned the card, the gates rolled back quickly, and we drove inside.

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